Lets go back to 1999, when Jessica Simpson was the hottest new thing on the music scene, making her debut to the world singing the title song for "Here on Earth" (you know.... that depressing Leelee Sobieski movie that we would never have a reason to ever talk about again if it weren't for the amazing music video, "Where You Are," which introduced Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey to the world as a couple).
Soon they were married, and we were tuning into MTV every week to watch "Newlyweds" and find out what Jessica thought she was eating this week (I know it's tuna, but it says chicken!). But Jessica and Nick were early victims of the reality show relationship curse. We thought he would "love her 'til forever," but when they split in 2005, it opened up a whole world of options for Jessica, who had dated Nick since she was a teenager.
First was John Mayer. You'll remember this because she suddenly changed her entire image to be dark and moody to coordinate with him. She traded her signature blonde curls for dark brown, her daisy dukes for glam gowns and maxi dresses, and got really, really over the top into photography. This was her post divorce rebound, and one that she surely regrets because Mayer famously told Playboy that Jessica was "sexual napalm" - a comment she did not appreciate.